


The Loneliest Girl in the World

by timidDot



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22810099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timidDot/pseuds/timidDot
Summary: Jade Harley has never been the best at conveying how she truly feels to others and messages Dave in a panic, leaving him worried and confused when he returns to his computer. A heartfelt conversation about loneliness and friendship ensues.
Relationships: Jade Harley & Dave Strider
Kudos: 11





	The Loneliest Girl in the World

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this fic is so incredibly self-indulgent and kind of a vent thing tbh bc im a big jade kinnie as im sure u can tell. dave as always been a rlly comforting character to me too!! this piece is more personal than what im used to sharing with ppl so i really hope its not just impossible to enjoy haha, thank you and have a nice day!! :-)
> 
> also, tw for implied abuse of dave from bro- nothing explicit, just figured a warning may be helpful :-)

TG: what did you need jade 

TG: sorry i didnt see this sooner fuck 

You fucking buffoon. Why do you bother with this shit? You know Dave has better things to do than talk to you. Nevertheless, you respond to his message.

GG: oh, hey dave!! 

TG: jade cmon 

GG: im okay!! no worries 

TG: believe it or not im genuinely concerned 

TG: you cant just expect to message me out of nowhere super urgently and then brush it off like it was fuckin nothing 

Seems like you’ve been caught red-handed. No matter how awful you feel, it’s futile to dodge these questions.

GG: haha uh 

GG: well im sorry about that!! 

GG: i shouldve been clearer :( 

GG: its just… 

You pause. It feels stupid to talk about this. Dave doesn’t exactly have an easy life where he can just drop everything to help you for feeling a little lonely.

TG: just what? 

GG: please dont laugh at me but 

GG: ive been really lonely these days 

GG: its hard to talk about it with anyone at all if im being totally honest so im sorry for bugging you about it 

GG: but out of everyone i could think of, i guess it seemed easiest to talk to you i guess 

GG: sorry, i know thats a lot of pressure :( 

TG: well thats rough stuff my guy 

TG: can i ask why me though 

Ugh. Does he have to rub it in so much? You know he doesn’t mean to be hurtful, but it still feels harsh to you.

GG: uh well. 

GG: i dunno!! 

TG: jade you cant just not know 

GG: well its embarrassing!! 

TG: since when are you the CEO of being embarrassed 

GG: ugh 

GG: you say that like i dont even have feelings, dude!! 

GG: but anyways 

GG: i dunno. 

GG: no matter how close i wanna be to rose, it feels like she doesnt like talking to me, like i just annoy her!! so bugging her about this would probably make me feel worse since i dont even think she likes my company 

GG: and john… i dunno. i feel like maybe he wouldnt understand? he means well and i know that but!!! its hard!!! 

GG: it feels like im kinda just… unimportant, yknow? 

TG: damn 

TG: i didnt expect that 

GG: sorry… 

TG: its fine dude 

TG: i kinda get that feeling if im being honest 

TG: i dont think rose has anything against you but thats intimidating 

TG: and johns great and i love him but his advice can be more white-suburban-mom-esque than a goddamn live laugh love sign above a fireplace yknow 

GG: i do not know 

TG: right right 

TG: island shit 

TG: is that part of it too? 

GG: oh probably? 

GG: thatd make a lot of sense since im kind of totally removed from other people 

GG: so itd have an impact on the amount of loneliness i feel on a day to day basis 

TG: yeah id guess it does 

TG: i kinda get that 

TG: not because i live on an island by myself necessarily 

TG: but shits not exactly easy here either 

GG: what do you mean dave? 

TG: well its not something you really know about cuz ive only talked to john about it 

TG: not because i dont trust you or anything 

TG: its just genuinely shitty 

TG: and i dont really want to be known for it 

GG: i think thats fair… but if you want to talk ever, im here 

TG: okay 

TG: well i dont really go to school like john and rose do 

TG: thats why im online as much as i am 

GG: well that makes sense!! 

TG: yeah you probably could have guessed that 

TG: but its not really for a great reason 

TG: my bro isnt the best guardian 

GG: ohhhh 

TG: im kind of isolated from everyone except for him 

TG: and i dont want to go into details really but id really rather not be around him most of the time 

TG: so i get how you feel 

GG: im sorry dave 

TG: its chill, its not like theres anything you can do 

GG: i know, but it sucks 

TG: sure does 

TG: fuck sorry jade 

TG: i got on my own shit for a while there you didnt ask for that 

GG: its okay dave 

GG: can i ask you a question?? 

TG: shoot 

GG: what time is it where you are again? im really bad at keeping track… 

GG: oooh!! i should get 3 more clocks for my room set to u, roses, and johns timezones… 

TG: it’s uhhhhh 

TG: 2:33 am 

GG: DAVE!!!! 

GG: gosh its 4:33 pm here i had no idea 

GG: i really dont wanna keep you up 

TG: its chill 

TG: i really dont mind being up late i mean 

TG: everyone is asleep but thats not always bad 

TG: rose and john usually go to sleep earlier but being by myself is fine 

TG: nothin wrong with a little me time 

GG: if you say so but i think you could use some rest!! 

TG: hmmmmmm 

GG: dont hmm me dave!! 

GG: you need to take care of yourself 

TG: im aware thanks 

TG: just dont want you to feel responsible for me being awake yknow 

GG: ??? 

TG: i stay up late anyways im usually just not online 

GG: oh 

GG: well you still need to sleep soon!! or at least get off your laptop 

GG: blue light is bad for your eyes and im afraid your shades dont protect against it!! 

TG: you still havent really told me what you were upset about 

You lean back and sigh. You were hoping he forgot about that by now, but Dave’s emotional intelligence is surprising you today. He seems to care more than he’s ever let on before, and it feels like he’s got a right to know what’s really wrong. You know he’s smart enough to know it’s about loneliness, but it’s hard to say it outright.

GG: i think you know what it is dave, i dont wanna bug you 

TG: well bugs are cool so 

TG: bug away jade 

There’s an offer you can’t refuse. It’s pointless not to be honest.

GG: ugh well 

GG: i just feel so terribly lonely all of the time!! 

GG: i know you met john and rose through me but it feels like im superfluous to our entire group 

GG: i mean john and rose have been friends for a really long time 

GG: you and john are very sweet together 

GG: and you and rose are like siblings 

GG: i just feel like a wallflower!! i watch everything but no one really cares about me or notices me 

GG: i live across the world and you all arent half a day apart from each other 

GG: and it feels terrible to feel this way!!!!! 

GG: its lovely and wonderful to have close friends and loved ones and i really dont want to take that away from any of you 

GG: i love you all so so so much but it just feels stupid to care 

GG: it feels like im the loneliest girl in the world 

GG: how melodramatic is that? 

GG: im sorry dave 

Before you realize it, you look down at your keyboard and see teardrops on the keys. When you reach to take your glasses off, the droplets are there too and your cheeks are wet. It’s not like the words you said are news to you. Why are you crying? Why are you getting more and more sad, even though you know nothing will really change? Your palm is pressed to your face, trying to wipe away the tears before you realize it’s just made your hand wet. Blinking, you look up from your hand to the screen, which has replaced your green text with a familiar screen of red.

TG: hey hey jade 

TG: its okay 

TG: i asked what was wrong and i care, i dont mind listening dude 

TG: its like. feels like everyone could live without you and be fine, right? 

TG: but think about it being one of us 

TG: say rose felt that way yknow 

TG: youd be like “aw fuck rose nah youre cool as shit everyone fuckin loves you” 

TG: maybe you feel like its stupid like that doesnt apply to you 

TG: but i know it does jade. 

TG: john sees you as a sister and he loves you i know that hes always so happy to hear from you, fucking gay little bitch 

TG: and rose isnt great at communicating her true emotions yknow 

TG: somethin i got in common with her sadly 

TG: but i know she likes you and likes talking to you shes just used to mindgames and shit and you arent like that at all jade 

TG: im like 420% sure that she wants to get to know you better 

TG: and yes you introduced me to the love of my life which is kind of like the coolest thing anyone could ever do 

TG: but i value u beyond that dude 

TG: like being honest with my feelings is not my shit so bare with me but 

TG: youre my oldest and kind of my first friend jade 

TG: i know were very different people but you stick around and do shit for me that other ppl never would and 

TG: no romo but i love you a lot 

TG: no matter how lonely you feel, were here for you 

And the waterworks keep coming.

GG: oh dave you dont have to say all of that 

TG: too bad already did 

GG: ugh youre stubborn 

You say that like you mind, but you’re happier than you’ve been in weeks, despite what the tears rolling down your cheeks might imply.

TG: you know i mean it all right 

GG: well duh… im not that stupid haha 

TG: i know your joking but youre very smart jade cmon 

GG: thank you dave. i know im being kind of dogy and im still really emotional but it really means more to me than i can find the words to properly express it, yknow? 

TG: you should start rapping jade 

TG: find the right words hella fast 

TG: didnt you rap yonkers once on call that was pretty fire 

TG: i mean i know tyler the creator isnt great but that was rad 

TG: shit thats off topic 

GG: im glad you finally realized that dummy :) 

TG: ohhh smiley face is back in the mix 

TG: i was gettin worried since you hadnt sent one this whole time 

TG: i mean there were some frowns at the start but those arent the same yknow 

GG: yeah, i know :) 

GG: but if i can be serious for a moment, i really appreciate what you said and i love you, no romo 

TG: im glad i could help you jade 

TG: you deserve to know how awesome you are 

TG: also sorry for the sudden leave but its also like… 3 am now and thats my bedtime so 

GG: ooooh, dave out here with the bedtime!! 

GG: not so cool now, huh? >:) 

TG: its self imposed so its cool as shit 

GG: suuuuure 

TG: goodnight jade, i love you 

GG: goodnight dave, i love you!! get some good sleep 

TG: you too 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]

“You too?” It’s 5 p.m. in the Philippines, why would you need to-  
Oh. You’re already asleep. The conversation you had with Dave must have been more comforting than you thought, and the sun setting in your window sill isn’t a bad touch. You feel Becquerel curl up at your side as you drift asleep in front of your computer, feeling lucky to be able to be understood and loved so deeply by your friends. Maybe it doesn’t matter how far away they all are. You’re not alone. Not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> i hc jade as black/filipino mixed so in case you are worried about her saying slurs she shouldnt in reference to the yonkers thing, jade would never, she only says slurs she can reclaim
> 
> thank you for reading and have a nice day!! :-)


End file.
